Thursday, December 18, 2008

Decisions

Descisions

My heart beats rapidly in my chest
how shall I endue this test?
I am told I am strong
I feel so week
a moments peace
is all i seek

My soul is weary
sleep eludes
as my mind whirls
trying to sort out
what choices to make
A dreamless sleep
would be bliss
instead I have to listen to this

Blind

Blind

You claim you seek knowledge
But close your eyes to the truth
how many lies will you tell
while being faced with the proof?
closing your eyes
does not make it go away
someday soon
you will have to pay
the choice is yours
which will you make

Secrets

Secrets

Door of destiny
what secrets do you hide
from my prying eyes?
What will life bring?
open to me and reveal
that which I seek
peering through keyholes
prying at locks
your unyielding stance
leaves much unanswered

Door of destiny
what delights do you withhold?
what dreams shall be fulfilled?
searching to find myself
behind your locks
am I even there?

Great One

Great One

Oh great one
cleanse my soul of this despair
it fogs my brain
conceling the answers I seek
swirling mist of grey
allowing only tantalizing glimpse
sof joy and happier times
oh great one
cleanse my soul of this despair
of storm cloud that roll in
obscurring my days
with the the dark color of hopelessness

Who

Who

the dream shall illuminate
all answers you seek
spirit guide
lead the way
to truth and knowledge
help me grow
help me learn
who you are
who am I
what is my purpose

Migaine

Migraine

A halo of rainbows
color glowing and dimming
with each throb of
pricks of light
dance across my eyes
oh to lay in peace would be bliss
But there are hungry birds
chirping in my ear
what will we eat today? today?
what will we eat today?

oh to lay in Peace
would be divine
but a mountain of cloth
calls out to be
laundered and folded
tucked away
for another time

Oh to lay in peace
would be paradise
but glass, silver, and plastic await
standing in a pyramid next to
a sink
ready to be immersed
in a warm bath of suds
and placed gently
in a dark cabinet

Untitled 7

Untitled 7 (I really ought to start thinking of names for these things LOL)

A gentle wind
can push it either way
the delicate
balance of life
grasp each day
and hold it tight
engrave on your memory
the small joys
tomorrow comes
much to fast
with new challenges
that we must pass
try not to dwell
on things yet to come
some day you too
will walk in the sun

To all mom's with a child with an ASD

To all mom's with a child with an ASD

For today I wish you peace
a quiet walk, the sun shinning
the smell of roses wafting in the airt
he giggle of a small child
finding delight in
what we take for granted

No meltdowns
No stims
hearing "I love you mom"
for the first time

For tomorrow I wish you hope
hope for a future
bright and shinning
as the eyes
of the one you adore
hope that someday there will bean answer

Forever I wish you lovef
or a heart as big as yours
deserves all the love in the world
I admire your strength
even when you do not feel Strong
Most of all, I wish for you
remember you are never alone!

For my Wonderful Friend Kathy

For my wonderful friend Kathy

I am sending you an Angel
to watch over you tonight
to help soothe your trouble mind
and to ease your fright
the fear of the unknown
is hard my friend
this I know to be true
so i think i'll send just a few dozen more
to watch over you
may they bring you peace
when all seems to be in despair
remember also my dearest friend
I will always be there!

Fairy Dance

Fairy Dance

She walks through blades of emerald grass
her bare feet make no sound
sunlight glistens though golden hair
flashes of Ruby and sapphire wings
dance before her
leading her to the fairy glen
oh how wondrous to be chosen
to join the celebration
a fairy babe born today
pixies play a merry tune
the dance is light and gay

she sits amongst the wildflowers
and leaves her special gifts
of mead and honeycakes
wrapped in purple silk
this honor she knows
is beyond compare
as the fairies dance off
into the mist

Numb

Numb

weary of this life
yearning for something more
emptiness taking over
feeling nothing,
no happiness
no joy,
no pain
soul empty
apathy reigns
why try
why care
shuttering off emotion
hollowness brings peace
adopting a new way
regretting choices
forced to make
then letting regret flow away

Alone

Alone

Silence settles in
as night begins to cover
fields streams trees
wait with hushed anticipation
what will the darkness bring?
fireflies flicker
a silent message
a code known only to them
In the air a current
of undetectable origin
stirs the owl from his slumber
"whooo whooo" he cries
into the air
he awaits
but receives no answer

Tangled

Tangled

a hurricane of anger
a whirlwind of despair
storm-clouds of hopelessness
icy tentacles of fear
gale force winds
whipping my thought
s into a frenzy
emotions collide
each fighting for dominance
control
power
softly
silently
a beaming ray of hope
struggles for recognition
burning brightly
growing in strength
until the daythe sun will shine again

To Our Soldiers

To our soldiers


Red blood shed
white crosses in a row
Blue uniforms on soldiers
standing straight and tall

the price that was paid
to celebrate
this dayof Independence
remember
our soldiers
old and new
give glory to them
and the Red White and Blue

Echos of Yesterday

Echos of yesterday

Lying in the darkness
surrounded by silence
they start as a whisper
the echos of yesterday
memories dance though my mind
a tiny hand in mine
a sunny smile
an infectious chuckle
sparking eyes
full of wonder
a yellow schoolbus
and little backpack
how brave you were!
Now a man
ready to take on the world
pride fills my heart and soul
yet deepin my heart
always my little boy.

Yearning

Yearning

gentle waves lap at my feet
distorting reflections
of the reality around me
shadows and sunlight
play on the water
dancing with dragon flies
and water nymphs
how I long
to join them
to be carefree
to know
only happiness
joy and peace
reality crashes in
it calls my name
chiding me
for wishing
for things
that cannot
Will it be
my turn
to dance
in the light?

Lost

Lost

To find again
the strength to smile
wash away worry
and the constant feeling of exhaustion
to roll away
the grey clouds
that lay
stagnant overhead
will pleasure ever be
a word I know again

Love

Love

Love is a flame
burning bright
teasing
tantalizing
dancing
hypnotising the
you closer
come play with me
I can give you warmth
when you feel empty and cold
just don't try to grasp me
for I will burn you again and again

Overwhelming

Overwhelmed

my mind is swirling
electric pulses
fly through grey
how can I
where can I
connectionss being made
will my sanity be saved?
or will everything just short circuit?

Goodbye

Goodbye
With despair she settles in
to say one last good-bye
she swore to herself
I will not cry
I have fought many battles
and though have not always won
I have looked on the bright side
and have sought out the sun
This pain might temporary
but it hurts to the core
and having to say goodbye
hurts even more
I have found what I have needed
in the friends I have in you
and although I will not be here
remember this to be true
I will think about you my friends
while I try to find my way
and untill I am back again
I will miss you every single day

Untitled 6

Untitled6

delicate and lilting the music flows
from pipes of wood nymphs
Elvin queen sits upon her throne
supping on honeycakes and mead
Pixies dance with grace
to the merry tunes
the faerie ring is aglow
with soft magical light
as creatures from
another realm
celebrant midsummer's night

Stress

Stress
I'm dangerously close
to losing my mind
I need a chance
to unwind
yelling, screaming
it HAS to stop
one more time
and my brain will pop!

Disaster,destruction
reins overhead
this is the 5th time
I have sent him to bed
a flurry of shredded paper
left in his wake
somebody do something
I need a break!

Sweet Surrender

Sweet Surrender
Trembling, unsure
she removes her garments
a soft caress
sends heat throughout her limbs
Boiling blood
nerves taunt as steel
anticipation sweet and painful
she gives herself
with her heart

For Michael

For Michael
Twisting, turning
tipsy, Topsy, turvy
My emotions run up and down
creating a whirlwind of emotion.
Who is this handsome
young man
who stands so straight and tall?
happiness, pride, sadness
dance side by side
as he dons his cap and gown

Strength

Strength
One lonely blossom
sits in a meadow of weeds
struggling to survive
rains slashes with cutting force
wind blows and howls
still it stands
roots strong and faithful
a pale green shoot soon appears
joined by more everyday
soon the weeds are no more
and the meadow is filled
with the sweet smell of victory

Moderen Addiction

Modern Addiction

Back to basic
is what they say
we should practice
every day
take the time to simplify life
you will be free
of stress and strife
it wouldn't work
in my house i bet
for i couldn't live
without my Internet!

Ode To My Appendix

Ode To My Appendix (silly on this one too!)

The kaleidescope of colors swirl
the pain it is so great
why does my stomach hurt me so?
was it something that I ate?
stabbing, shooting pain
perhaps it was some glass?
whatever the hell it it was,
this sure is a pain in the ass!

hospital, here I come,
I sure hope they don't think i'm dumb
they poke and prod
they jab and stab and stick me in a bed
watch what the Hell your doing!
you almost dropped me on my head!
the surgeon comes in and shakes his head
and says I have bad news
it seems that there is an organ that you are about to lose

they give me a shot, my mind goes to pot
a few hours later
after a conversationwith Ralf Nader
I am feeling quite fine
the drugs that they give me
leave me feeling sublime.

Untitled 5

Untitled 5 (got a little silly on this one, the chalange word was wrench)

jubulantly she glides
down the isle
the magical day has arrived
the honeymoon is sweet
a week in paradise
then off to a new home she goes
a year rolls by
followed by the pitter patter of little feet
he comes home late one night
and her heart it does wrench
for on him she can smell
another ho's stench!

Summer Evening

Summer Evening

The meadow awaits
for evening's cool breath
with hushed anticipation

Wildflowers perch
on delicate stems
prepared to danceto natures tune

The setting sun
paints the sky
with brush strokes
of crimson

The katydids
begin to fiddle
peepers join in
the symphony
as bullfrogs sing
a call for rain

Destiny

Destiny

Destiny awaits
like a spiders thread
fragile and flowing on the breeze

one small gust
off it goes
landing where it may please

do not fight
you'll only be
tangled in the web

better to
follow through
every flow and ebb

Empty

Empty

It chills me to the bone
ice cold, like frozen tundra
emptyness spans unending
the apathetic stares of those around
show no knowledge
of danger in store
the wind blows with a banshee's scream
echoing in my heart

Untitled 4

Untitled4

Velvet darkness surrounds
faint light flickers, drawing the dreamer closer
beckoning to his soul

come to me,come to me
the auspicious glow
sings to his very being

enter and see
what is now to you, unknown
your gifts shall strengthen
your guide will lead,
should you lose your way
are you ready to start the journey of a lifetime?

Searching

Searching

Quiet and reserved afraid to express
what in my heart was known
not many like me
to be found
yearning to learn
of the mystical thoughts
dancing in the back of my mind
how fortuitous they day
I made friends
far away
who understood
and did not judge
but wished to help
enlighten the path
that I seek to know

Friendship

Friendship

Laughter and love
delights and suprises
sadness and pain
being lifted up again
frienship can do so much
i'll stand by yur side.
I will not hide
when I am needed most

Hell, I'll even bug ya when you don't want me around!

Hope

Hope

Dew drops on cob webs
glisten in the rising sun
a soft breeze brushes
emerald blades of grass

The sky glows
with Rosy hues
of pink and Orange
bringing hope

A new day
a new chance
will you seize it?
or draw the blinds?

Untitled 3

Untitled 3


Firey hot
they course down my face
the tears of anger
I rant and I rave
who are you
to tell me?

How dare you imply
that I have caused
what nature intended?

I was diligent in my caution
but was given
another path.

I will not let you bring down
what has been given to me
Who are you to tell me?
When you havenot lived my life?

Victory

This poem is dedicated to my daughter Adrienne and her courageous fight to defeat her brain tumor.

Victory

We will fight tooth and nail
defeat will not be a word in our house!
how dare you invade the Innocent?
how dare you attempt to end a life?
you snuck in while no-one was looking
and sucker punched us all in the heart.
It will not happen again
we are on to you the battle is already half won
we believe
that we will prevail.
It is right around the corner,
Victory is ours!

Betrayal

Betrayal
It simmers beneath the surface
with every twist and turn
you wonder why your advances
I do always spurn.

Your silver tongue
it temps me so
my heart says yes,
my mind says no.

Betrayal it screams
he will do it again
he will cause heartache
he will cause pain!

the heart hears the whisper
and heeds it well
this will be the last time
it goes through Hell

Heartless

I grow weary of the fight to survive
the needs I cannot provide
a simple break is all I ask
in response I get a laugh

Would it be insignificant
a problem if it were you?
do you have an answer
I'm sick of your excuses

I am tired of your indifference
how can a being made with
compassion and love
be so cold?

Untitled 2

Untitled 2

Upon the mountain top she stands
soaking in the solitude
she begins the ritual with a wave of wand
the wind rises up
bringing the foul scent of destruction from afar
her soul is weary
her bones are old
her destiny has been foretold
with gossamer whispers she is shown the way
Eagle soars high above
watching her
with creators love















The Proposal

The proposal

He has bought the flowers and the ring
put on soft music of violin string
he has practice his words a million times
they many ways to say please be mine
He kneels before her
a humble man
trembling and awkward reaches for her hand
With dreams of forever
in their hearts
a simple yes
and the magic starts

A Fairy's Gift

A fairy's Gift

She tip toes in on delicate feet
twirling and swirling she glides to the sleeping babe with breath so sweet
she dances round the slumbering wee one
and raises her wand
bestowing a gift compared to none
This child is special, she gives her sight
the power to talkto those needing her might
Leaning over, she kisses a curl
giving a fairy's love
to a sweet baby girl

Unintersting life

Uninteresting Life

You claim your life is perfect
as you line your tea cupsi
n neat little rows
and sweep imaginary crumbs
from the table into your hand.

You iron your sheets
then fold your underwear
everything is placed
precisely where it should be
but I realize it is all for show
Your kids are perfect
dinner is cooked precisely at six
with the table set
like a five star restaurantif
I lived your life, I'd hit delete!

Winter

Winter
The air is crisp and cold
icicles dangle like crystal pendants
silence surroundswrapping me in a blanket of peace
Wood smoke wafting in the breeze
soothes the soul with comfort
sunlight sends dancing diamonds on the snow
Frost paints a lacy picture
upon my window panes
as winter lays it's claim
upon the land once again.

The Return

The Return
Gathered round the grave of thee
they all whisper blessed be
the family stands to the side
afraid to look, afraid to hide
all can feel something amiss
standing there in the mist
temperature plummets, oh so low
as your spirit touches souls
suddenly some are aware
of your laughter dancing on the air
you have been chosen to come again
on a night of thunder and rain

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Untitled 1

Untitled
Agony courses through my veins


as I gaze upon your face again

did you think that I would be pleased to see you ?



Your retched ways and lies unfold

tear me down, yet make me bold

I see you for who really are, a pathetic nothing

with no life of your own

sitting there on your throne



Your hatred of self shows in all that you do

your evil deeds will come to haunt you

Beg for forgiveness, pray for peace

before your forced

to face the beast within you